Happy Birthday Gramma!

My Grandmother turned a ripe 82 on Monday.

Happy Birthday to the woman who raised me. The one who taught me how to cook. The one who loved me no matter how bad I had screwed up. The one who thought I did no wrong.

The family got together and had her a ho-down on Sunday afternoon.

She doesn't know it or realize it, but she did. The doctors say Gramma has Alzheimer's, and that it is in the "dementia" stage.

Whatever. As long as she can eat and have a good time with us, they can call it whatever they want to. She's still as sassy as she ever was. She just gets confused now and then.

She has never failed to recognize me or remember who I am both in person and on the phone. She forgets that my Nat (oldest daughter) is mine. And she is totally blows her away that Lil T belongs to Nat, not me.

Anyhoo. We brought Gramma a really cutsie foo foo pill box back from Germany when I was over there in October. It was in a bag from the little German store, which had writing in.... you guessed it... German.

So, Sunday we all get together, as we do every Sunday, but this week we have a special dinner and birthday cake for Gramma.

I walked in the door to find her sitting there staring at the cake.

"Who's birthday is it, honey?" She asked me as she hugged me.

"It's yours Gramma. It's your birthday! Cool, huh?" I tell her.

"I'm 82?" She asked referring to the candles.

"Yep. Ain't nobody that old, Gramma." I told her as I gave her the bag with the pill box in it. "Look it. I brought you something back from Germany for your birthday."

She was clearly taken aback by the writing on the bag that wasn't in English.

"Honey, what does this say?" She asked.

"Gooberstankin." I tell her all serious.


"Gooberstankin. Come on Gramma, say it and you'll be speakin German. Gooberstankin."

Well, she ignored me and opened the bag. But Nat didn't ignore me, she was listening the whole time.

"Mom? What's gooberstankin?" She asked all sincere.

"You're kidding, right?" I forget sometimes how naive and silly my kid is.

"No. What does it mean?" She asked again.

"Nat, baby. Mommy was making up a word that sounded German. Goober-stankin. Get it?"

"No. I don't get it." Bless her heart.

"You know. A dude has a goober. And stankin is just stankin. You put them together and you have a word that sounds German." I tell her.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" She gets it, "You were just trying to get Gramma to say goober... I get it."

That child of mine, bless her little heart, is a dork.

Gramma never did say gooberstankin. I tried all damn day to get her to say it.

Gramma blows out the candles...

Gramma sucks the icing off of the candles (the original pirate)


Sugar Queens Dream said...

This post has been the most beautiful one I've read all day!
Hugs Diva...

Jay said...

Fun times! Happy Birthday to Gramma!

My Nana Creta turns the big NINE OH this year! I think that calls for a get-together.

Not a Granny said...

"Happy Birthday to Gramma, Happy Birthday to you.." I'm singing, but I sing really badly so don't let her hear it, just tell her I said Happy Birthday...mmkay?

Leighann said...

Happy Gooberstankin Gramma!!

Chuck said...

Well happy birthday Gramma!!

Ain't nothing better than a ho down with granny!

Remind me to tell you something about a stankin goober someday!

Real Live Lesbian said...

Happy Birthday, Gram!

Sounds like a gooberstankin' good time!

Mike said...

Happy Birthday to Gramma. She looks like she had a great time.

Anonymous said...


Mushy said...

Ah, bless her heart, she looks every day of it! But, she's kicking!

Happy Birthday Granny!

Anonymous said...

Happy 82nd Birthday Gramma!

Amy said...

Awww, that's pretty cool! Happy Birthday to Gramma!

Michelle L. said...

I was raised by my grandparents, too! It was pretty awesome, I got away with murder. My grandmother will be turning 82 this year, too. Congratulations to Gramma!

Bella said...


What a wonderful lady!

Always enjoy your grandparents. they are soooo special in so many ways.

:) Bella

Bella said...

Oh...miss Diva...I nominated you for a blogging award. Got pick it up!

:) Bella

MsPuddin said...

Damn! G-ma is still gettin’ it lol

That’s wassup, had her a little party…yes happy birthday! Celebrate those years goober baby!

Anonymous said...

wonderful post Diva.. and ahppy birthday to Gramma..

Nosjunkie said...

ag shes such a sweet looking granny happy birthday nanny diva

Diva said...

Thanks to everybody! I appreciate all the friends I've made here and all the laughs we have!!!

I printed all the comments out and took them to her when we went for our family dinner yesterday. She was tickled to death!

Thanks again! I loves all y'all!!