CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES »

1.16.2008

Bitchin, Moanin, Yep... I'm PMS'n

No sooner do I get over the demon turd, then I am striken with the murderous rage... Yah, PMS.

Due to this fact, I had a huge decision to make. Do a post bitchin and moanin about everything that is putting my panties in a wad or pass on the post until I cheer the hell up.

Guess what... I decided to bitch and moan.

In no particular order, these are the things that are just chappin my ass during this time of hormonal distress.

WalMart
I am a hater of WalMart. I think the place is the spawn of Satan himself. Especially the Super WalMarts. There is no good time to go to WalMart.


Gas Prices
I was taking Miss A to school this morning and was low on petroleum feul in the automobile. I knew I should have stopped last night on my way home from the office. But, I'm a lazy bitch and figured... Eh, tomorrow.

Mistake.

Never fails that when I go into lazy sloth mode and don't get gas when I notice I need it, the prices jump up over night. Pisses me off.

Chompin, Crunchin & Slurpin
Ok, I know alot of people who think I am completely and totally anal rententive for this one. For this particular issue pisses me off any day of the year, not just today.

But, since I have high levels of estrogen streaking through my being at lightening speeds, the level of irritation created by these noises is severly increased.

It all stems back to a traumatic semester in 7th grade pre-algebra, when I sat in front of Sergio. Sergio smacked and chomped his gum in my ear every friggin day.

It drove me to the point of shooting fire out of my eyes and screaming at him just before spring break. I was promptly issued 3 days of detention for my outburst, but it was worth it. That asshat wasn't allowed to chew gum in math class anymore.

Seriously. How hard is it to keep your mouth closed when you're chewing? Granted, some things are just crunchy. And there is a certain amount of crunch noise that doesn't grate my vertabre like a knife.

But, when the boy stands right behind me with a bag of chips, crunching and chomping with his mouth open and chips falling down his chin. Sorry, I have to say somethin, and it's usually in the form of...

"I swear to God and all things Holy... If you don't back away from me I'm gonna kick your ass!!!!!!!"

Soup/hot liquid slurping is another issue that makes me tick.

No shit. I spout obscenities and tick like I have tourettes when people in my direct vicinity act like animals during feeding time in the fucking zoo.

Manners, people. It's not that hard.


Basically everything is pissin me off today. My computer is acting like it's on crack, my hair looks like I stuck my finger in a light socket and I have a hole in my right sock.

Oh yah. Blogger sucks balls. Why is it that the date and time are never right? And I just prettied up my blog, but conveniently lost my "Dog Pound" blogroll thing.
I'll fix it tomorrow. My head hurts.

16 comments:

Leighann said...

Would you like half of my peanut butter and MIDOL sandwhich?

Mike said...

I like the new look.

I agree with you about chomping, smacking and slurping. There is nothing worse in the entire world.

Flat Coke and Flies said...

I like the new colors--look what BROWN does for you babe!!

Southern Sage said...

Sounds like alls well in Diva-ville!
haaaaaaa
SS

LissaKay said...

Must be time to get out and party! Blogfest! This Friday! At Bailey's! 6:30! Be there!

RockDog said...

I had something really funny to say, but I am afraid of you right now. So instead I'll just say, "Have a nice Day?"

Preposterous Ponderings said...

Oh damn girl!

Sounds like you could use a nice,long,hot bubble bath and some chocolate.

Sugar Queens Dream said...

But damn Divalicious you're funny! Love the NEW look, somethings must be right for ya!
hugs babe...

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

You poor thing! If I was there I'd lift you up and boost your wittle spirits in no time! Eat some chocolate, drink some vodka & go to BED!
xoxox

Nosjunkie said...

oooh love the new temp diva....
and dont worrie too much about the hair I think that kinna thing is in right now.

maverick said...

nice template...looks good..keep changing the templates if it helps in getting rid of the irritation..lol :)..updated my blog

Real Live Lesbian said...

How'd you get my pic? I'm PMSy today, too.

(snatches Leighann's sammich away)

I think I DO need some Midol!

Diva said...

Leighann- Mmmmm. Midol. Mmmmm. Peanut butter. Just so you know, I went to Sam's and got the industrial sized bottle.

Mike- Thanks!!

FC&C- I think I like it. Guess it depends on what it really does for me!

SS- Do I denote a lil sarcasm??

Rockdog- Dayum. Am I that scary today??

PP- Calgon and snickers by candlelight, YES!

SQD- Hugs back, mama!!

Olga- Yes! More chocolate!! Bring it when you come!

Lee- I'm too old to try to have trendy hair, baby girl!!

Maverick- Yah, everytime I get pissy I seem to change my template. Co-ink-ee-dink?

RLL- Just bought a big ass bottle of Midol last night. Want I should get some to ya?

Sugar Kane said...

I would rather saw my legs off than go to Wal-Mart. And the smacking thing is totally a pet peev of mine!

Diva said...

Yah, Walmart is evil. I've decided to take it up the ass and just pay higher prices at Kroger.

Amy said...

I can't go to Wal Mart. Literally... cannot go. At all.

And to all of your other bitches - I am right with you - all of them can go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.