What Jiggles & Floats, But Refuses to Bounce?

First here, I wish to extend my warmest and deepest heartfelt wishes for this wonderful and joyous holiday season to each of you, my newest and bestest friends, here on Blogger's Lane. You are a blessing and each one of you has touched me with your stories. I've giggled with you and cried with you. Thank you for making every single day something to look forward to you.

How was that for mushy** gushy stuff?

Onward and upward... So, what jiggles & floats, but under no circumstance does it bounce?

Big T is long gone for work. He is a prince. He gets the coffee going for my anticipated awakening to the new day a dawning before he leaves every morning. It's 6:22 in the A.M. and the alarm has been going off for 2 minutes before I crawl across the bed to slap the snooze button My general M.O. is to hit snooze until around 7ish but I have to let Big T think I wake up earlier than that.

So, I slapped the snooze button and drop back down on his side of the bed, and off to zzzzzz-land I am again in mere miliseconds. I experience my slumbering bliss for another seven minutes when that bitch starts to scream at me again.

Welllll, I hopped up on all fours fixin to crawl across the bed to slap the snooze button again. Only problem with this scenario is the fact that I'm not on my side of the bed, I'm on his side and I don't have any bed to crawl across.


As of today, I have scientifically proven that fat does not, in fact, bounce.
One paw in front of the other, off the bed I went. Like a cat, I managed to land on all fours, but my knee crunched and so I was laying flat on my face.

Yah, fat jiggles, fat floats, but it certainly doesn't bounce.


Jay said...

Well I guess that will wake you up! LOL

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Chuck said...

OMG! What a mental picture this conjures up! Now, help me make the picture even better....tell me you sleep in da nude! ;)

Divalicious said...

Yep, Jay... I was wide awake within say .002 seconds of smashing into the floor. Thank God the coffee was already made!!

Chuckie... again, you're a naughty boy. You need a spanky!! Go to my room!!! FYI...totally nude, pal. Totally nude.

Anonymous said...

I hear ya girl! I learned a long damn time ago that fat just splatters!

Mike said...

That's a lesson I have had to learn many times...the hard way.

Mushy said...

Merry Christmas Diva!

Mushy's will be changing after the first, but I'll be around.

Anonymous said...

now that had me chuckling...:):) I guess T is like me I'm up and at em early..even when I don't have to be..old habits die hard I guess...keep rockin Diva your a "keeper"

cheers and Merry Christmas

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

GAWD...I HATE it when that happens!!!
Should stayed in BED! :)

Mighty Dyckerson said...

At least the floor didn't give way. Consider yourself lucky.

David Sullivan said...

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

David Sullivan said...

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Michelle L. said...

OMG, I can totally see myself doing that. The other day I fell down the stairs and took a dog and a cat with me. They weren't even swirling around my feet. I just missed a step and slid down the carpeted stairs on my ass. And no, fat does not bounce. It is apparently quite slippery, though.

Anonymous said...

I guess falling on the floor woke your ass up, didn't it??


Poppin' in to wish you a Merry Christmas! ;)

Palm Springs Savant said...

hee hee good one! hope you have a very Merry (and jiggly) Christmas!!!

Divalicious said...

PP- Splatters... hahaha... Like a pancake hittin the griddle.

Mike- Sucky lesson, pal. I thought my schoolin was all but over.

Mushy- Where do you think you're goin?

Robert- I loves the way you loves me!! Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And, yah, the man can't even sleep in on the weekends....sheeeesh! He's interupting my much needed and well deserved beauty sleep.

Olga- My thought exactly, but it hurt to bad to go back to bed.

Dyckerson- Holy shit, man. I didn't expect to find you over here. Yah, if I'd have been upstairs my fat ass would have busted right through. Now that WOULD have super sucked.

David- Thank you, my friend.

Michelle- I totally feel better about being me now!! I hate thinking I'm the only one who does silly shit!

Slick- Very awake, swollen and bruised!!! Merry Christmas! Hope you had a wonderful time!

PSS- Welcome in! I get the biggest kick out of your blog, feels like home!!
Jiggly, YES!

Real Live Lesbian said...

I bet some parts bounce! ;)

Great story! I'm a nekked sleeper, too. It makes a better story when things go they often do!

Divalicious said...

Hey RLL- Girl, you know the good parts bounce =) Just not the knees.

MsPuddin said...

Damn that’s hella funny…your almost as talented as my mom…