Kid Rock, Chippendales & Clapping Monkeys

What do Kid Rock, Chippendales and Clapping Monkeys have in common? They have precisely nicht in common, other than the fact that these are the types of things that decorate my office at work. I have all the pictures and what not that everybody else has, but

There is no wonder why I love my job so much. Since nobody ever comes in our office other than our super sexy UPS fella, my boss could care less about anything I do as long as we're gettin the job done. Fact of the matter is, she picked some of this shit out.

Now I would like to guide you on a highlight tour of my Monday-Friday home. My office is like a teen-aged girl's bedroom.

The door to my office is tastefully decorated with 25 cent hula lai's and a stolen Chippendale's poster from my graduation party. (The girls took me to see them, but that's yet another story). Boys aren't the only ones who can have tacky, tasteless eye candy on their walls. Equality.. I love it.

Come on in... next we'll see my favorite reading material displayed proudly on my book shelf. This was a donation from OG. She realizes how happy Happy Bunny makes me. I appreciate her sarcasm.

Next to Happy Bunny is my pill crusher, pharmacy style baby!! I crush my aspirin and motrin and make a wicked cool combination in that bad boy.

On around to the filing cabinet... not only does my office have it's fair share of beautifully tropical plants, but it also has my daquiri glass from Excalibur where me and OG saw THUNDER FROM DOWN UNDER in Vegas. This was a helluva night. I was drunker than dammit and vowed to keep my pennies in this glass until I had enough to go back and see them again. REOW!! Ladies, we highly suggest you save your pennies too... it's worth every one...

Onward, shall we? Here we are at the wall of shameless shit. It's in plain site, so everybody that does happen to stumble in here, gets a gander at Kid Rock's sexy self. Mmmm, mmmmm, mmmmmmmm. In addition, please note the Van Halen 2007 Tour Schedule along side my pink teddy bear Big T gave me for Valentine's Day.

My "Grow A Pirate". Me and OG are waiting for the opportune moment to sling his ass in a 2-liter bottle and see how BIG he gets.

Lastly, but not leastly, my clapping monkey. He provides hours of entertainment and cures of the dead silence of some days. I used to wind him up often, but he has dusty bunnies in his ass. *hang on, I'm windin' him up*

Go monkey, go!

Finally, The piase de la resistance... this was found by OG in her boy's old crap in her basement. She found it soooooo adorable, that she brought it to me to proudly display. Oh yah.... your eyes are not playing tricks on you.... it's a penis flower vase and I dig it. Thanks to lil OG for being a perv in training.

So, that's my office. Hope you enjoyed finding out what a dork I am.


Real Live Lesbian said... have the greatest office ever!

Jay said...

That's a pretty sweet office!

I assume that there is a 5th of Jim Beam in the filing cabinet? LOL ;-)

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

I love, your penis vase! Do you put tulips in it?

Get it?

Anonymous said...

Uh...Van Halen?? lol..I ain't even gonna say nuttin'.

Does the penis flower vase come in handy on the days you're bored? ;)

Chuck said...

Wow, that was very informative and entertaining! Thanks for the tour. At least you don't have any pictures of that traitor Kenny Chesney!

Divalicious said...

RLL- Thanks girl. I get to wear my fuzzy slippers around the office, too..

Jay- No Jim, but there are liquor balls in the fridge and a variety of airplane bottles in my desk.

Olga- Bwahahahaha, 2lips. I gets it!

Slick- The penis actually isn't for practical use. Only flowers go in that bad boy. Wha?? You don't dig some VanH?

Mike said...

No office would be complete without a penis shaped vase to keep your flowers in.

Well that's not entirely true. My office would be complete without such a device, but yours wouldn't.

Anonymous said...

Diva you rock in fact you rock so good I gave you an award come on over when You got a minute...

Divalicious said...

Mike, the big green penis vase is the highlight of my office indeed... but I'ma chick.

Awww, Robert. Thanks!!!!