If Anybody Was Wondering

I know you, my friends on Blogger's Lane, are really getting uptight thinking "What the hell would Diva want for Christmas??"

I'm here to help. I don't want to end up with another toaster.

In no particular order, I will list the items you are welcome to put under my tree this year. We'll have a hot toddie and discuss the fun uses for these lil ditties.

First. The Yodeling Pickle. Anybody out there who wouldn't want a pickle that yodels? I for one am just bubbling with anticipation for Christmas morning! Wake up, all dreamy eyed to a beautifully decorated box... and out pops the pickle.

I'm also amused at the thought of getting this cute little smoking monkey. I think I could teach it to spit, fart, burp, cuss and drink beer too with enough time and training.

Lastly, I want this so I could always have a weinerschnitzel in my hand.
Sick, huh?

There ya have it kids. I promise not to regift.


Bella said...

That's cute.

Be careful what you wish for!!!

Chuck said...

It would appear that at least two of your gift possibilities are phallic in nature. Hmmmm....wonder what that means?

Divalicious said...

Good mornin, Bella. I know, huh. You never know what Santy Claus might show up with.

Chuck, I'm not Prince, I don't do phallic or cryptic... or do I?
I guess it would have made it easier to have just went with the good stuff from the Adam/Eve pervy catalog, eh? Then it could be delivered in a sexy brown plain brown wrapper.

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

Have you considered one of these?

David Sullivan said...

Does that pickle vibrate?

Inarticulate Fumblings said...

"... and out pops the pickle."

If I had a nickel for every time I heard... er...

C.Rag said...

I also thought that pickle was a dildo.

Divalicious said...

I am starting to think you kids think I'm a perv or something.

Ahhh, Olga, I'd not turn away a larger than life microbe by any means.

I certainly hope so, David. But I'd use it ONLY for sore muscles.

"Out pops the pickle"... bwaaaahahahaha... would be a nice come back for "not tonight, honey".

C.Rag- I like the goodies you asked Santa for, girl. I had you put me down for one of each.

Jay said...

You have a real taste for high end luxury items. I mean, you blew right past the Lexus and Big Screen HDTV and went right to the good stuff!

Divalicious said...

If it smokes, farts or vibrates it's an excellent gift idea, Jay.
Who needs HDTV if ya got a multifunctional yodelin pickle?

Mike said...

Well that list is pretty danged complete. Next year people will be saying "Well what can we get for a girl that has everything?"

Mighty Dyckerson said...

Why don't you stick the business end of the pickle in your cooter? Then you'd have a yodeling twat!

Anonymous said...

Hot Dang you gave me some ideas for presents.....:):):)

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

PS: I have tagged your crazy ass!

Mustafa Şenalp said...

çok güzel bir site.

doggybloggy said...

two weenie shapes and a smoking money...okey dokey

BottleBlonde said...

And to think, I was going to get you a diamond necklace and matching diamond bracelet for Christmas. It's a good thing you clarified what you REALLY want this year.

Sugar Queens Dream said...

Diva~~~~ I am breathless.... from laughing so much, I defiantly have to have a wiener in my pants...... I mean pocket or where ever one puts one of those LOL LOL although, I am married to a German LOL LOL so technically I have a German in my pants LOL LOL ~~Hugs you delicious woman you~~

Divalicious said...

Mike, every girl on your shopping list will dig that Yodelin' Pickle.

Dyckerson, just an observation, but you really seem to have an anti-social vibe goin on, pal. It's the holidays and you need a nice hot toddie. I'm sure that would fix you right up.
Oh, yah... To answer your question from you blog...I'm nobody you've ever heard of.

Hi Robert! I'm sure you'd be the hit of the Christmas party if you showed up with 'em.

mustafa, I no speaky German, buddy. Sorry.

Doggy, plastic weinies don't cook up as well as that tasty excellence you share on your page. You can create me a tasty dish and ship it.

Dayum, BB. I'll take the diamonds, girl. As long as you send some for the monkey too.

Oh my, Sugar. The thought of a pickle in my pants hadn't even crossed my mind, girl. Where are my cookies?