Body Wash, Razors & Good Hair Days

As most Saturday mornings go, I drank way too much Washington Apple on Friday night and woke up feeling like something my cat yacked up.

Blindly, I wander through the lair to the bathroom where my downstairs coffee pot lives.
1/4 cup fresh ground kona beans
+ 10 cup aqua
100% delicious caffiene rush

I AM top barista even in a hungover state.

I'm only as good as the java I brew... which is mighty damn fine.....


That's when it happened. I turned around and my eyes opened just in time to catch a glimpse of the corpse looking back at me in the mirror.


Dear God, who knew middle age would be swift and evil on a Saturday morning?

Last night's make-up looks like water paint on my face now.


Hot water streams down over the shower poof which is now cocked, locked and ready to rock with Black Vanilla Current body wash.

*sniff sniff*

Eyes fly open. Wide awake instantly.
YES!! A gift from the shower gods!!

Make up removed... thanks Clinique
Hair de-sprayed... thanks Aveda
Smooth legs....... thanks Soliel razors

I feel human again.

So, I proceed to dry my mop.

As a rule, my hair is short and way out of control.

Especially when I help it along with all the crap in my cabinet.

And the hair-do god looked down and smiled, and it was all good.

Now, I don't know about ya'll, but I noticed how the whole tone of my day is set forth by whether my hair behaves or not.

I mean, when I'm having a good hair day, I feel like a Disney princess prancing with my little animal friends in the forest all happy and shit.

But oh hell..... look out if the hair gods don't shine down and decide to play a practical joke.

They don't know who they're dealin with...

Which brings me to this morning. Yah, the jokin started early.

I showered and blow dried and hit it up with product....

No good. Bad day.

Accept, I have a rook card in my pocket...


The love of my life on days like these...

My hair dresser..

Abby is my hero.

This is Abby. She's always happy and she does the best scalp massage...

See, she knows me. 8 years doing my hair.

It took her 5 years and a hotline number to keep me out of the haircolor aisle at Wal-Mart.

She fixed some hellacious bad botched hair color jobs.

She works right next door from my office.

I go in there without an appointment holding scissors and a box of Wal-Mart hair color and she springs into action like the The Bionic Woman.

"Grab the box of bleach from her hands, STAT!!!" and off to work she goes, being my protector against the hair gods.

She loves me. I tip well.

Therefore I don't even need an appointment. God bless her.

The moral of the story is... be nice and tip your hair dresser well.

Chancing a bad hair day is nothing to trifle with.


Jay said...

I tip my barber pretty well, but I bet she would make me wait my turn. The bitch. ;-)

maverick said...

even tho i hair thats longer than u..being a sikh...i dont get bad hair days lol :D

Leighann said...

Man I can't even remember the last time I did anything significant with my hair.... or had someone else do something to it!

I'm a wash-n-go kinda gal these days.

Buzzardbilly said...

I've always tipped my hairdressers well (even the one that gave me "the Janet Reno" when I asked for something short and kicky). Mmmmm, Kona beans. I'm a big Tanzanian Peaberry fan too.

Diva said...

Jay- Barbers aren't as emotionally in tune with their clientelle.

Mav- You are a lucky lucky soul.

Leighann- I use way too much product. I need to consider wash n go!

Buzz- I'd kick Abby's ass for making me Janet!! She don't roll like that!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

"Dear God, who knew middle age would be swift and evil on a Saturday morning?"
ARG-AH-HAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG - That's so Perfect!

Boobiful Bridesmaid said...

My hairdresser took a hike, sigh. I'm back to pink roots and a 'tarded cut. Woe is me.

Diva said...

Olga- Middle age has proven to make a hangover hang tighter than it did 10 years ago.

Boobiful- My gorgeous bridesmaid!! How are you???

Mushy said...

Ron and I celebrated yesterday afternoon at Smoky Mtn Grill and Irish Times and I'm feeling sort of the same way...only I never visualize anything from a cat!

Not a Granny said...

Yup, that was me this morning. What is it about Friday nights???

Mr. Fabulous said...

As a bald man, I am absolved from bad hair days. Well, I have bad pubic hair days sometimes, but it's not often obvious.

Inarticulate Fumblings said...

Honey, I've been there. As a person cursed with curly hair, I completely understand your good/bad hair days. There is a reason I have now decided to shave my head.

Product free. It is a wonderful feeling... and all it requires is a $13 cut at the barber once every three weeks!

Anonymous said...

being in a similar condition this morning I give you my heart felt sympathy..It's so much easier for a man..any old cup of coffee will do to get me going..showers are uncomplicated ..and screw it if it's bad hair day jam a hat on..Voila! I'm back to my stud muffin self...:)))))

Speedcat Hollydale said...

When I get my hair cut, I think I should only have to pay for the "amount" of hairs cut. The savings could help pay the heat bill :-)

Speedcat Hollydale said...

.... & LOL @ Robert's comment!!!

Diva said...

MushMan- Oh buddy, I have wicked hair even before a long night out.

Not A Granny- Friday nights are historically infamous for too much alcohol creating bed hair and runny make up the next morning.
I think it was scientifically proven at Harvard or some hoity toity university like that.

Fab- We have reversible problems, LMAO.

Oh, Robert- The joys of being a man!! Being a girl can sometimes be a pain!!

Speedy- I think she cuts me an even better deal than that!!

Nosjunkie said...

hahaha my whole life is a bad hair day I was gonna post something like this but hey why not.
I got a great haircut on sunday but it rained and now I cant blow my hair to look like it did from the hairdressers.... I am the hair gods court chester