Big Upsets, Barn Dancin, Bob & Back Flashin

Yes kids, it's the day after Superbowl Sunday and if'n you're a football nut you're either stoked because the Giants pulled the rug out from under the Patriots or bummed and depressed to the point of needing psychiatric help and a lollipop.

Sorry boys.

It's kinda cool that the Mannings rock balls like they do with Peyton being a superhero in the likes of Aquaman around these parts.

I'm not a huge Pro ball fan at all.

College ball is a different story, can't pull me away from the TV on Saturday all fall.

I pulled for the Patriots for one reason: The boy.

I knew if they didn't win that the boy would need a visit to the shrink this morning and a mild sedative.

Not to worry. Dr. Mayhem said it appears that he will only need the meds for the next week or so and he'll be ok.

It's over. Put on your big boy panties and go on.

Enough of that.

So, me and Big T have found a new watering hole/dive to kick it in.

It's less than a 2 minute drive from our palace.

This is a definite plus, because after I've drinkin ungodly amounts of alcohol, being chauffered too far makes one feel the need to yack...

It's a cool little place we found a few weeks ago, quite by accident.

They gots the karaoke and not one of the singers sucks balls!!

Yes, friends, if you go to karaoke at the wrong place you might suffer bleeding ear syndrome.

Anyhooodle, it's called "My Place"... cute name, huh??

I try explaining that to my BFF who was coming to meet us there..

Holly: "So, where ya gonna be?"

Me: "My place."

Holly: "But I thought we were goin out."

Me: "We are, you dork."

Holly: "But you said you're gonna be at your place."

Me: "No, I said I was gonna be at My Place."

Holly: "Ok, tell me where the hell I'm supposed to meet you dammit!!"

Me: "At My Place. I'll be at My Place for fuck sake!!!"

Holly: "Ok, I'm on my way. We'll pick you up."

Me: "Gonna be kinda hard to do since I'm not gonna be home."

Bless her heart. She's my best friend, but soooo easily confused.

Reminds me of that super swell Abbott & Costello thing "Who's on First"...

So, we finally get it all straight and make it there.

We get out cozy little spot in the corner. It's set up just about like a living room would be.

Finally get my beer from the beer nazi. The Bitch...

We were sharing the corner with "Bob" and another couple.

Bob is an older gentleman who we've seen dancing every weekend we've went there.

Bob can dance. Bob was having trouble finding someone who could remain standing up straight as he twirled them around the dance floor.

Bob = good dancer
Assorted partners = not so much

Now, Diva knows how to get out there and shake what her mama gave her.

For a white girl, I'm loaded down with Rhythm.

Yes, I can line dance, but I'd rather be dancin freestyle to somethin with a wicked beat and strobe lights.

Not sure where it came from.

Maybe my mom was foolin around, cuz my daddy certainly hasn't got a drop of ass shakin in him. Never has.

So, Bob decides its my turn.

Too late, Bob, old pal. I'm already drunk.

Bob still grabs my hand and off we go. Fine. His fault if I yack on his shoe.

I didn't spew my brew, but I was dizzy and glad it was over, and as an added bonus, I danced well.

Bob was impressed. I fear he'll drag me often.

Anyways, I was sitting there trying to compose and breathe, when some old boy jumps up and starts singin "I Likes It, I Loves It" by Tim McGraw.

This song sends my alcohol soaked brain in to flash back city.

I used to run around at this place called Cotton Eyed Joe.

It's a saloon type place, only bigger. The DJ sits in the cab of a semi. Very cool.

So, they line dance at this place. Alot. To everything.

Ever seen an old boy with a belt buckle bigger than a dinner plate bust a line dance move to Outcast "The Way You Move"?

Humorous, unless you're drunk as a skunk, then it's knee slapping hilarity at its finest.

There is this dance. The Barn Dance.

This is where you find a partner and go to the dance floor. Two rings are formed, men on the outside, ladies on the inside....

The outside ring moves one way, the inside ring moves the opposite way. The partner switch is on.

It's a twisty turny dance. Which we have already established is a bad thing when I've had a few.

So, about half way through this dance, I look at my current partner as he spins me back in.

I'm green.

I'm gonna yack.

He grabs be by the hand a runs me to the women's bathroom and shoves me in.

I didn't yack on his shoes. He was lucky.

And a gentleman to shove me in the bathroom like that.

Hit me up.. I'm shamelessly whoring my bloggie!!


Chuck said...

I used to hang at the Cotton Eyed Joe a few times back in the day. I used to love those "shot girls" who would come around in their daisy dukes and straddle your knee while you took a shot. Ah...good times!

My Place sounds fun. Maybe you can take me there one of these days!!

Mike said...

From my trips around to other blogs, I think I may be the only person in America that is not upset by the outcome of the SuperBowl. Of course I didn't really have any favorites in the game but was silently rooting for the Giants.

My favorite watering hole is only a few minutes from my place too and I wouldn't have it any other way. Hell, if I need to I can walk home.

Jay said...

That's a pretty good guy to shove you into the ladies room like that. I probably would have grabbed a trash can for you and gotten out of the way.

MsPuddin said...

I’m sorry I one of those ppl who believe the patriots shouldn’t even be in the league, so I’m glad they didn’t win…and that last play in the lat 3min of the game was sick!!! Now that’s football baby!

Leighann said...

We need to go out some time! ;)

Diva said...

Chuck- I've told ya'll time & time again to come up & hang out with us!!!

Mike- Nah, I'm not upset. I didn't give a rats ass about it really. I just didn't wanna deal with EMO BOY!

Jay- Even that would have been perfectly acceptable. I just didn't wanna yack on the shoes!

Ms. P- I had a premonition that shit was gonna happen.

Leighann- Yes ma'am we do. Get over here!!!

Anonymous said...

Been to CEJ in Knox once. Got so crunk & drunk it ain't funny. I laid on the bathroom counter for some strange reason. Oh and I did something out there on that wooden dance floor the required me to beat a bunch of other girls running back and forth.

Anonymous said...

Any place where the DJ sits in the cab of a semi..Has Gotta rock..whoo hoo I have to check that place yakkin on my boots though....:))))))))

Anonymous said...

Look at it this way,at least he didn't shove you out the door and leave you to fend for yourself.

Consider him a gentleman! ha ha

Bella said...

Ah, Diva. You do know how to live the life now don't you???



Sugar Queens Dream said...

I wish we lived closer to each other I just know we would have fun to die for!
Hugs babe

Diva said...

FC&C- I've spent many a minute trying to recoup in the lil girlies room.

Robert- It's very cool!! I'll take pictures next time.

PP- Oh yah, we loves the gentleman types.

Bella- Eh, I just blog the fun stuff, I have just as much crap flying around as everybody else.

SQD- Is a vacation to TN on tap??