I'm Cookin with Gas Now, Baby!

I'm officially cookin with gas now... No, I don't mean the fumes that burst periodically out of T's butt from the fart war. No, I'm actually steppin in high cotton now, kids. T acquired me a new, gas grill yesterday. Ain't it cool? I pity those ladies who get flowers and jewelery. Sheer chicken perfection came off that bad boy last night. Beautifully sliced for fajitas which I shall scarf down for lunch today.

In other flatulent news, Me and Big T have been in a fart war for a little over a week. Yah, I know, that's not lady like and totally sick. Just so you know, he started that shit...(hahaha). It has been scientically proven that, in fact, my shit does NOT stink and his could peel the paint off the walls. Please don't look down on me for being childish and obscene. Thanks!
Running score: Tony 5, Me 4

How do you keep a marriage fresh? Make time to go on a date together. Get rid of the kiddies and get 'r dun. After Big T and Me saw his mom Saturday night and dropped the boy off. We were feelin a little froggy. We went to Shoney's for their sinfully rich-half frozen tasty treat... Hot Fudge Cake. Actaully it wasn't a bona-fide date, but I told him I was goin for something sweet and yummy and that I wasn't driving not even 1/10 of a mile farther until I got loaded up with some coffee.
Still yet, we had some alone time to make fun of all the people making mountain sized salads.

The Holiday Spirit kicked me right square in the ass over the weekend. I got all holly and jolly and started up with the Christmas decorations. No, I'm not redneck enough that I'm going to light them up just yet. I'm just pre-decorating in an effort to be the tackiest, most well lit house in the neighborhood. Go me! I've got more than 3,500 little twinkle lights and I fully intend to utilize every single one of them. (Once I get in the running for Tackiest Decorations of 2007, I'll post some pix).


MsPuddin said...

I love how you openly embrace your gastric aroma…it’s, kind, of, hot…crackin' up that his can "peel paint off of walls..."

Chuck said...

I would say the fart wars would definitely help to keep the marriage fresh. Maybe not smelling fresh, but exciting none the less!

Divalicious said...

mspuddin- This man has taught me that even the most ladylike of us should flare one up. Before him I had everybody convinced I'd rather explode.

chuck- Scented candles are key, brother. That, numerous cans of Lysol and stock in Glade AirFreshner.

Lovebabz said...

You are funny! I Love it! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I appreciate your kind words. Stop by anytime. And Happy Holidays! I can't wait to see your house decorated for Christmas.