Round Three - Heidelberg Castle

My pal, Markus from Pforzheim, decided that we needed to go to Heildelberg to the Castle grounds and wander as it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon. We parked the car and looked up the hill. There it was, as it was last time I was in there, very eery yet beautiful.


I assummed (ass-u-me) that we would go the same way I had went in last time.

Up a nice stable incline to the front of the grounds. Not so much.

Let's just say I assumed way wrong.

We ended up climbing the STAIRS OF DEATH.

All 315 of them.



Straight up.

On the bright side, I was feelin bad that I thought I was gonna have a heart attack because I smoke and I was climbing stairs...

until my non-smoking Ma almost fell out too!!

Thanks for making me feel good about being me, Mom!! I loves ya!

And here are Mommy & Me at the top in the gardens.

We survived the climb.

Since that was in October, now I can say it was worth the pain & suffering.



Although in total ruins from WWII...


still a very beautiful place...






"I'll give ya $5 if you'll jump across and act like you're makin out with that pee-ing statue. Obed (her pastor) will never know. I swear I won't tell him and Jesus will forgive you."

Constantly antogonizing poor Ma is what I live for.

"Ya right, you take pictures of everything and use them for your benefit."

For an older broad she catches on quick.

I DO take pictures of everything.

She's right though. I'd have saved it as leverage for later...

"Be nice, or I'll send this picture of you to the ladies group, Missy."

That's just the way I roll.

So, the front of the place is actually in pretty good shape.



Supposedly the last prince of Heidelburg got pissed at his lady and jumped out the window...

... and all that was left was his footprint where he hit the ground so hard...

yah, yah, yah... a little Heidelburg bullshit there.

Heard that from no less than 6 German types trying to amuse us.

Didn't work.

After we finished wandering the castle grounds, we hoofed it through the downtown area.

All I can say is God Bless Starbucks Heidelburg.

It was cold, it was dark and I needed java.

I know, I know...

I make fun of all things Starbucks.

But when you're that far away from home with all the strange sights and smells of a foriegn place...

let me tell ya... you're thankful for Starbucks.

Also thankful that Markus went in and ordered....

Diva don't brechen zi duetch.

Quick - Main-line Caffeine STAT!

Not only do I need a support group for my klepto issues, but I am also an addict. That's right, kids. If I don't have an I.V. drip of strong ass coffee every morning, then I'm about as useful as a pantyliner is to Bruce Willis.

I consume no less than a pot of the stuff before I even leave my house in the morning. That's just the regular, rut-o-the-mill crap too. The the games really begin when I get to the office. Oh yes, I have it made there. My boss is sympathetic and spoils me with Seattle's Best beans. For Christmas 2 years ago, we acquired a mac-daddy espresso maker that grinds the columbian beans into powder and then spews boiling hot water through it with extreme pressure so as to extract every last bit of the caffinated goodness inside. God bless espresso and the occasssional vanilla latte.

If I don't get my daily dose of good stuff, I become as foul as an 87 year old school lunch lady who's sloppin cole slaw food stuff onto the tray of a smart ass high school kid. It's cool. I don't do without much.

However, I have went on strike from Starbucks. Pisses me off that I have to pay around $4 for a latte that I can whip up here for nearly nothin.
Nevermind the fact that I feel like the total redneck as I am ordering my "Non-fat venti vanilla latte, please" with my thick ass southern drawl. I always feel like they give me my total, ask me to drive around to the window, all the while making fun of the redneck chick with the funny accent.

Plus, I'm highly influenced by what I hear. And I a little squirrley told me that StarSchmucks is evil. He doth spout the truth!

(If you're offended by extremely foul language, I advise you not to click that down there. And I apologize in advance for being so easily amuzed by such profanity. Please know, my mother raised me better than this. I am a black sheep.)