Seven Deadly Sins: LUST

In the 6th century, Pope Gregory the Great named the seven deadly as follows: Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Vengeance, Envy, and Pride.

Lust, as defined at Dictionary.com, is an intense sexual desire or appetite, or an uncontrolled or illicit sexual desire or craving.I'm human.

I am admittedly full of lustful thoughts. I can't help it. God made me a catty creature. If I see somebody totally hot, male or female, I automatically think about how hot they are and become somewhat fervent.

Adultery? Cheating? Same thing… all of it, lumped into lust. Kissing a girl while dirty dancing? Yes. Lust. Dreaming about being in a hot tub with a gorgeous man during a thunderstorm? Yes. Lust.

I'm not saying I'd go out and have an affair or wicked one-night-stand with any hottie individual that came my way, no, at least not any more. What I am saying is that due to unsatisfying situations in my past, I have indulged in certain extra-curricular activities and enjoyed them immensely.

As a human creature, one has desires that might not be quenched without lust coming into play. Simply spelled out, if you’re not getting what you want and need at home, you’re going to go out and find it.

People can deny their corrupt human nature all they want. But it’s there inside all of us. It just depends on if one has the overwhelming urge to act on it.

Look at our politicians. Look at our Holy leaders. They all claim to be best friends with Jesus, then turn around and condemn one another shaking hands with the devil. As it turns out they are all just as guilty as the other. Come on, kids.

Brother Newt condemned Fast Willie and Monica for doing the deed. (Well kind of). Jimmy Swaggart was banging a prostitute while he condemned Jim Baker, who was having an affair behind his wife’s back.

So, I've decided that I'm going to embrace my human nature for what it is.

Friday the 13th

Today panned out to be a super day. Work was awesome. I stayed busy all day. We cleaned the office. I wrote OG’s paper and she was happy with it. Tony loves me, Tyler is here. Natalie and Amanda are good.

Tony said today to go get the papers and he’d marry me now.
He really must love me. Well, hell. What's not to love?

Seven Deadly Sins: Sloth

SLOTH.

• I went into sloth-remission last year and got into excellent shape.
• I lost more than 70 pounds.
• I was wearing slutty tight jeans and looking pretty good in them.
• I had enough self-confidence that I even scared me a time or three.
• I was attracting ample attention from the opposite sex.
• I wasn’t the fat Pirate anymore.
• I blended in well with the other girlies.
• I was becoming a certified hottie patoddie.

Then… around turkey day… I lost my motivation or ate way to much turkey with dressing and punkin pie or something. I started eating everything in sight that even looked like it had a carb attached to it. I quit going to the gym like I was. My butt went from being touchably firm back to jiggly like a bowl of jello. Of course, poured into the jeans, nobody could tell. But I could tell. I’m still down several sizes from where I started. Thank God, because I gave all of my fat clothes away and bought new. They just don’t fit as comfortably as they did. I find myself having to hold my breath… ALOT! Didn’t take long before I started to get more and more miserable.

Now here it is summer. The season I spent the whole of last fall dreaming of, only to wake up and realize… I had failed. I’m not beach worthy. I’m not bathing suit worthy.
I honestly do know what the problem with my motivation is and I am actively working on a resolution to it. I couldn’t beat ’em, so I joined ’em.

I have quit with the Taco Bell, Papa John’s and Booger King. I have stopped sneaking into the kitchen and scarfing down a couple cookies here, a few chips there. And most importantly, I’m not just spending ungodly amounts of money on a gym membership. No longer will it just be an expense sucked out of my bank account. No.

I have started doing cardio and group exercise classes again. I have started eating healthy again. For my health’s sake.

I had forgotten how good I felt when I was working out and eating right. It wasn’t just the ability to wear skanky clothes. It’s more internal than that. I liked the way I felt. I had energy. I had attitude.

So, here I go again. Wish me luck. I have a wedding dress to fit into in 2 months and 19 days.

He, I mean She, I mean He…. Wants What?!?!?!

So, I’m pretty much sick of thinking and talking about Paris and Lindsey. I’m over Anna Nicole, her monasery of man whores and her kid.

Thank God there was something fun in the news today!

This dude, err, chick, err, well I think its still a dude, Robert Kosilek, wants the state of Massachusetts to pay for his sex change surgery.

Um. Yah. He just isn’t happy being a he and isn’t going to be happy living as a he anymore, dammit!

Whatever!!

This asshat killed his wife in 1990 after she dumped hot tea on his testicles. I’d probably have dumped hot tea on his testicles too, but I would have run for the hills and not looked back.

Apparently she wasn’t that smart and he strangled her. How I don’t know. I can only assume that if I had hot tea spill on my nuts, I’d be in the fetal position crying like a baby.

Anyhoo. So, this guy has been in jail for murder for many moons. Now, I don’t know about ya’ll, but I am all for swift offing of anybody who is a murderer. I mean, why are we wasting our tax dollars on feeding and showering these folks? I am not tolerant of blatent evil or being mean for the sake of it, but I think there are way too many murderers, child molesters, and rapists in prison, living the good life, instead of getting a needle in the vein.

And this jack ass wants the state to pay to remove his penis and give him a vagina? If they do it, I hope he gets molested by the biggest, baddest man in the prison.

Any Tom, Harry, or Dick in society would be fighting with a multitude of shrinks to get the sex change, not to mention spending a small fortune on the operation itself. How in the world could his request even have gotten so far as to have made it into court? And not only did it make it into the courts, but an obscene amount of money has been spent on mental evaluations of this guy because he keeps threatening suicide. Good God, let him do it!

Dang, give me the needle or let me have control of the switch, I’ll euthanize him and save the fine tax paying citizens of Mass. a whole lot of money.

Toby Keith - Hottie of the Moment

Ok. If I’m nothing else, I’m completely honest and tend to let all my inhibitions fall to the ditch with my pals in our little blogging world. Since only a few of you know me on a totally personal level, and have never seen my face, and could most likely not pick me out in a line-up… I don’t mind sharing my innermost thoughts with you… even if they are sometimes a little off.

So, we were at Catscratch Jane’s, and Scotty reminded me that I was going on about how much of a hottie Toby Keith is. Yes, it’s true. I’d sop that boy up with a biscuit.

In the midst of a discussion about blogging a “Hottie of the Day” about Toby Keith, I (without thinking, of course) blurt out that, “I have had so many wet dreams about Toby Keith, I can not possibly do him justice in a blog”…

So… I will not attempt to discuss why Toby is such a hottie, but will continue seeing him “Dream walkin and Pillow talkin”.

I will recess now to the confines of my cold shower.
Peace. Out!

Monday Melee de la Diva

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

I hate the fact that there are so many awful people out there that would wait until their wife/girlfriend/lover is about to burst at the seams with impending child birth and kill them. I mean, come on. If a man is cheating, or doesn’t want a baby, or whatever… WALK OUT ASSHOLE! Don’t kill her because you are a bottom-feeding freak of nature.
Don’t prey on someone who is in too vunerable a condition to be able to appropriately fight back. She (and her baby) has a right to live.
Pure evil.
And, as usual, drama queens and attention whores will forever be something I just loathe.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
I have only one in mind, and I’m not so sure it would be a good thing. So, since I can’t say something nice today, I’ll keep my yap shut. ZZZZZip.
I will expose myself though. I am a complete fake. I am not the sweet, kind, loving, caring, angelic individual that you all know and love.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
I’m unhappy that I am simply not a morning person. I would go so far as to say I’m anti-morning. I manage to drag myself out of bed just in time to have a shower, pour some coffee down my throat and drive to work with my head hanging out the window in order to get that wicked windblown look. So, I am unhappy that I can’t appreciate a new day any earlier than 5:00pm.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
Today I give my fiancee complete and total credit for putting up with my constant string of shit. I generally give him a run for his money. But, lately I’ve been extremely emotional (imagine that) and have been taking him on the rollercoaster ride of the century. Lately I’ve been worse than a spoiled 5 year old. He over looks my sarcasm most of the time and doesn’t take it totally personal. Go Tony. You’re one hell of a man, man.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I think it’s good that I can admit being a total ass-munch. See #4.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
This week to hurry and be over. We go on vacation next week. So, all the good stuff I wished for on last week’s Melee may just come true.
At least the cold beer and sex part.
Go Diva, Go Diva, Go Diva

The Beauty of....

ON DEMAND!!!! Yes!

Every so often I get bored and turn on the boob-tube. As usual, I am sorely disappointed that I pay SATAN (Comcast blog) a hundred bucks or so a month for 197 channels on which there is not a damn thing to watch.

However, there is a slight redeeming quality to my personal hate of beelzebub. On-Demand! Yay!

Now where else will one find such an unlimited supply of good stuff?
My joy stems from the fact that I found TubeTime, and this isn’t the first time I’ve experienced such utter happiness.

Today, I found *sniffle, tear* Fantasy Island, my friends!

How could I possibly resist?
Well, what other show can take viewers into the past, into the future, into kinky love affairs?
But wait! That’s not all, folks! Your host for the journey is a sexy dude, with orange skin, a white leisure suit, and a midget!

Some freaky crap went on there on Fantasy Island… Scary, sometime criminal things. You know how warped folks can be when they are fantasizing. Anyhoo, Mr. Rork, lets these demented people have their freaky fantasy (generally with ill results waiting in the wings), only to step in at the last second and save the day!

At the end of the day, all visitors get a lei and fly off on ZEEEplane.

Wow. On-Demand! You’re my hero.